Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Characters in a Love Letter


It's already 5:15 in the morning. I have not slept yet and still trying to sleep. But there is still boggling in my mind. And it seems that i feel something inside, I noticed my tears come out. I don't know.


It's hard to teach one's heart. I've heard that before but now I realized, it's true. I confirmed this because I am experiencing it as of this moment, maybe this is the reason why it is hard for me to sleep until now. I can't deny the truth about whatI feel, and I think it is normal. This feeling slipped in my heart because I was not careful, I have not learned yet.


I was hurt. I can imagine how the character was used to express the feeling. I can imagine the rose that was given to a love one, and I can imagine the hugs that expresses the feeling. I was hurt. I can compare myself to a character in the love letter. It will never be a love letter without me. But sometimes I think it was my role. It's hard to be a paper, too. I am thankful I was not the paper.


But being a character is not enough to be me. I want to be a letter. I want to be the message of the letter and not the character. You know what is the feeling of a character in the letter? At first you feel the good and comfort because you were used. You haved realized your value and you make people smile.


But the reality is I wish to be the eyes that read the letter. I want to feel what my function is. Why do people cry in reading me, and why do people smile, angry or laugh. It was a very convincing observation, that encourages me to know me. And later, I notice my tears, I was indeed the character in a letter.


Maybe, that is the reason why I can't sleep until now. I write this to somehow release me. I can't be the letter... and I'm teaching myself to be the character. It has more value, and it touches human beings. The letter has less value without me, and can be considered a paper. But with me, it changes to something of value. Others may look at me as this, and they feel that it was good. Many are wishing to be in my place...but they do not know what is behind... they do now know how I was produced.


No one teaches me to be like this, only my tears can tell. No one sees me like this, but the characters can describe it.

Picture retrieved from http://www.wcg.org/lit/gospel/man%20crying.jpg

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