The first thing it happens, I know she was not for me. I know there are other guys that is meant for her. I never realized I have been developed on those times. It never comes into my mind that this will happen.
Until now, I lost my hope on her. I lost the essence of forward thinking...my neural network prediction does not work. I smiled as I am reading my neural network paper. It seems that this technology relates to my life. I was thinking before that even if in my heart is not deserving for her, time will come that the nothing is impossible. But now, it seems that my life fades, as from dawn to evening. An evening of no morning.
My life and my future as others said "You have a bright future." Indeed, God has a plan for me. My plans are not His plans. But part of my plan will never be realized. It was like creating a new road to cross the mountain and see what is behind, but now, those roads will never be realized. I am now looking on following the paths besides the mountain instead of crossing it. I know I will come to my destination, but it takes time.
I don't understand also why it hurts. In the first place, i anticipated this. But my heart cannot anticipate. It is blind, there is no neural network in it. I advised her that she is free. But my heart says...no she is mine. I hope that training my neural network will do in my heart.
I was hurt. I know its my fault and that is more painful. You know that you are wrong but you never do what is right. I am waiting for nothing. If somebody wants to pick my heart, its yours. Hope it will respond once again.
Love you dear.
Picture retrieved from: http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t213/khc158/itsok2.gif
